Lessons from engagement, #2

Continuation from the engagement series (pt 1)
This time is what I'll deem "growing the relationship" time. It's also a whole realm of new relationships that will form, and current relationships that will change, namely with family.
Three parts of growing the relationship. The first is with your fiance. This is now new ground to sow the seeds of a good foundation. Something that we started when we were dating was reading the Scriptures together. Something that we continued to do into our engagement period. Granted it hasn't been as cositent as either of us would have liked but it has definitely been profitable and rewarding time. Why? Because of the conversations that come up around it, our doctrine for the most part has been pretty similar, no huge waves, otherwise most likely we would not be where we are today. While we were dating, I made sure that I guarded my heart extremely well, sometimes to the point where it was too guarded (J can testify). As I look back now with only a month or so left until the wedding, I can see just how much we've grown closer over the last several months. Yes we're still getting to know each other, and will continue to after we're married, but with the intentional time spent together, outside of wedding planning, in the Word,  is what will be the firmest foundation that we'll have.

This is something that I have been extremely grateful for, a time together in the mornings just to open Scripture and hear the word of God spoken into our lives. Something so simple, yet powerful. Of course, this is what is revealed to us throughout Scripture too. "All scripture is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." 2 Tim. 3:16

The second is continuing to foster the relationships that you have with your close friends, and small group. Letting people know what is going on in your life, how they can be praying for you and even just a hug. Though it seems like a "Duh" moment, but honestly it has been such a blessing to be able to call and email the close friends I have, to know that they're holding the other end of the "support" rope through prayer and petition. At the end of the day, I've realized that maintaining these friendships includes letting them see you when you're struggling and fighting the hardest to keep the perspective that God is sovereign over all. Most importantly, they will be able to more intelligently bring your requests before our Loving Father, who knows us intimately and remind us of the truth in Scripture... what I need the most in the midst of a battle.

Finally, the most challenging one to address. Family. People that know and love us regardless of what we do, people who have seen the bad, who have seen the good. This is the relationship that has been the most challenging to grow during the engagement period thus far. The idea of leaving and cleaving seen in Gen 3 and throughout Scripture; is a difficult one to live out practically. Tips for this time? I'll let you know when I'm done. haha. In all seriousness, the verse that keeps coming up in my mind by the grace of God has been Phil 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition but with humility of mind count others more significant than yourself" Of course not taking this out of context but recognizing that the prime example we have of this is Christ. Which Paul explains later in chap 2, where Christ did not count equality with God (the Father) a thing to be grasped, but humbled himself to submit, to obey even to the point of death on the cross. This is what has fueled me in the last couple months. Clinging onto the truth that Christ humbled himself and obeyed, to the point of death on the cross, to bring glory to the Father. How much more should I, as a disobedient child, brought into the sheepfold by the blood, death and resurrection of Christ, how much more should I consider others more significant than myself?

By not doing so, I'm shaming the cross I call upon to save me. This is growing relationships during engagement, deferring to others, loving them, and investing time with them even when you're tired.

Sushi

So delicious

The Superwoman complex

Lord let me apply the truths written in here.

 

 

Sent to you by Christine via Google Reader:

 

 

The Superwoman complex

via Gender Blog by Diane Montgomery on 10/7/11

Superwoman complex: A woman's wish to be excellent at all her roles (leader, professional, mother, wife etc.), that very often leads to psychological stress and feeling guilty toward family members or an expectation of being a superwoman that can and should do everything.

I have to confess: if you look this term up in the dictionary, you'll find my picture right next to it. Guilty as charged. I never realized I fit into this category until just a few weeks ago. I was a little over one month into marriage, taking summer school, making home-cooked meals 3-4 times a week, working out 4-6 times a week, packing my husband's lunches and mine, working almost 40 hours a week, involved in church ministry, cleaning house, writing papers, reading 200 pages a day for my class, trying to be a friend, daughter, and the perfect wife. I was exhausted by all of this and I don't even have kids yet! After working 10 hours for my job one Saturday afternoon in a dirty, sandy outdoor concert, I came home and broke down.

Have you ever seen that episode of Saved by the Bell, when Jessie Spano was trying to balance all her life activities and then becomes addicted to caffeine pills to try and succeed at everything? My life was similar to that, minus the drug addiction. At the end of the episode Jessie finally freaks out. She goes from trying to prove she can sing on drugs, to yelling, to finally incoherently balling/mumbling, "No time, there's never any time!" I think the writers of this show must have looked forward into the future, seen my breakdown and said, "This is great material! Let's add some pills and we'll have a great show!" Unfortunately for my husband though, he had to play theencouraging and consoling part of Zach.

The next day, I wondered why I had freaked out so much. I was doing all the right things. I was making homemade food, my husband was well fed and had a clean house to come home to, I was making good grades, I was trying to do a good job at work, and I was building more relationships at church. It seemed like I was doing all the things that the Proverbs 31 woman is said to do but then why was I breaking down out of exhaustion? What's wrong with being Superwoman?

1. Superwoman is too busy and exhausted to spend time with God.

By the end of my day being "Superwoman", I was exhausted and I needed to get a good night's sleep to be able to save the day again. I pretty much told God, "I'm too busy for you. I have to do everything tomorrow and I need my sleep so I can't read your Word." The very thing that would bring peace, contentment, and joy in my life was the thing I was rejecting. The Bible is the way God speaks to us. It breathes life into our souls and without it we become spiritually deadened.

The Proverbs 31 woman is exemplary because the Scriptures influenced her life.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. ~ Proverbs 31:24

How did she speak with wisdom if she didn't get it from God, the source of all wisdom and faithful instruction? She sought Him and His law which brought her wisdom, peace, dignity, and strength.

The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.~ Psalm 19:7-8

How did I think I could make it as Superwoman, exhausting myself every day, without the very thing that would revive my soul? I was doomed for failure. Instead, I needed to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman who sought the Lord and His word which brought light to the eyes and joy to the heart.

2. Superwoman thinks she can save the day.

When you try to be your own superhero, there's no room for God to save the day. I thought I could do it all on my own and, foolishly, I thought I didn't need God's help. I was the center and controller of my life, God was not the one in control. When He is not your reason, your center, your all, when He is not in control, your life will not be peaceful or successful.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. ~ Proverbs 14:12

If you're trying to be Superwoman, you will eventually fail and breakdown but when God is in control, there is peace and rest. I was putting my trust in myself which seems pretty stupid when I think about it because I'm a sinful, simpleton of a woman. Why am I trusting in that kind of person when I have a Savior who's perfect, loving, strong, in control of the entire world and wants to do good for me? That's the kind of God I want to save the day.

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in Him, and He will do it. ~Psalm 37:4-5

For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.~ Deuteronomy 30:16

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30

3. Superwoman tries to be perfect in all her different faces.

A lot of Christian women think of the Proverbs 31 woman as being a type of perfect woman. She does everything perfectly, can be Susie-homemaker, smart, good with money, can sew anything, and her husband and children think she's just the best.

God requires His daughters to be like that, right? Aren't all those things in Scripture? They are and God does want them from us but there's a big difference between Superwoman and the Proverbs 31 woman. The difference is: God.

You can do all the actions of the Proverbs 31 woman but if your heart isn't God-centered then you're just a Superwoman destined to fail. God knows that only He and His Son, Jesus Christ can be perfect, so why are women trying to be perfect in all areas of their lives? Is it for personal glory? Is it so you'll appear to be the most talented girl in the dorm, the best wife in your small group, or the most desirable single woman men know? Unfortunately, I've been guilty of all these motives and they are purely selfish. They are "Me"- driven and that's what the Superwoman complex is centered around: Self. Whether it's to be the best or to please man, self is the motive, not God.

God does not want outward perfection, awards, or praises from man. That's not what He values. The only thing God requires of us is that we seek Him and fear Him. The Proverbs 31 woman sought the Lord and feared Him.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
~ Proverbs 31:30

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ~ 1 Peter 3:3-4

Superwoman is charming, she's impressive, her worth comes from things that are outwardly seen but she fades away. A woman who fears the Lord, who has a gentle and quiet spirit, and whose heart reflects Christ, is the one who will continually be revived by Him, be of great worth in His sight, and can run the hard race towards holiness. If I had done these things, I wouldn't have broken down and you won't either if you put your trust in Him.

God doesn't call us to be superwomen; he calls us to be godly women. If you've been trying to do everything on your own, then stop. Jesus says to you and me,

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~ Matthew 11:28

When you put your to-do list, your troubles, and your full-schedules on His shoulders, life is much easier. It is lighter because He's carrying the burdens. He doesn't want you to have to because He knows you can't handle the weight and you'll collapse under it, like I did.

If you have been like the Proverbs 31 woman and putting everything in God's hands, thank you. You have been an example to your sisters and we need more women like you. I pray that I will not make the same silly mistakes again and become more like you.

So go throw your Superwoman cape away and let God save the day

(Diane Montgomery is a contributor to the Unlocking Femininity blog at www.unlockingfemininity.com)

 

 

Things you can do from here:

• Subscribe to Gender Blog using Google Reader
• Get started using Google Reader to easily keep up with all your favorite sites

 

 

Garlic press

What to do for lunch on a cold day?  Warm ramen of course! They also had these awesome garlic press

Morning and Evenings by Spurgeon

Morning, September 15
"He shall not be afraid of evil tidings." -- Psalm 112:7

Christian, you ought not to dread the arrival of evil tidings; because if you are distressed by them, what do you more than other men? Other men have not your God to fly to; they have never proved his faithfulness as you have done, and it is no wonder if they are bowed down with alarm and cowed with fear: but you profess to be of another spirit; you have been begotten again unto a lively hope, and your heart lives in heaven and not on earthly things; now, if you are seen to be distracted as other men, what is the value of that grace which you profess to have received? Where is the dignity of that new nature which you claim to possess?

Again, if you should be filled with alarm, as others are, you would, doubtless, be led into the sins so common to others under trying circumstances. The ungodly, when they are overtaken by evil tidings, rebel against God; they murmur, and think that God deals hardly with them. Will you fall into that same sin? Will you provoke the Lord as they do?

Moreover, unconverted men often run to wrong means in order to escape from difficulties, and you will be sure to do the same if your mind yields to the present pressure. Trust in the Lord, and wait patiently for him. Your wisest course is to do as Moses did at the Red Sea, "Stand still and see the salvation of God." For if you give way to fear when you hear of evil tidings, you will be unable to meet the trouble with that calm composure which nerves for duty, and sustains under adversity. How can you glorify God if you play the coward? Saints have often sung God's high praises in the fires, but will your doubting and desponding, as if you had none to help you, magnify the Most High? Then take courage, and relying in sure confidence upon the faithfulness of your covenant God, "let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

God is good

God is good.  He is sweet and gentle and for me and I can feel that today with every fiber of being.  He knows me, really knows me.  And He's with me, really with me.  He's safe and strong and steady and He's all around me and throwing reckless and radical promises at me and sharing the deepest parts of Himself with me through His Word and He's fighting for me when I'm too weak to fight and He's holding me when I'm too weak to stand.

He's deep and good and mine. fabs

on days like today.. this is the truth I need to hear. 

service without reward

I was quickly convicted that there are too many areas in life in which my acts of charity or my acts of kindness are charitable and kind primarily toward me. I'll serve you if it somehow serves me. I'll give to you if I receive some tangible reward in the end. But if my serving or my giving interferes with my big plans, if it gets in the way of what I really want, that's where I object, that's where I pull back, that's where I say, "I cannot do it. It's impossible. It's ridiculous to even ask." At too many times and in too many ways, I am like this anonymous relative, this man whose actions earned him no named place in this story, this man who is here to serve as a contrast with Boaz—Boaz whose actions point us to Christ, whose love is evidence of a transformed heart and transformed affections.

 

-T.Challies

Read more

How often is that the posture of my own heart, serve when there's something in it for me. Rather, correct me, serve as Christ served to the very end.

When God's Will Isn't Clear

 

 

Sent to you by Christine via Google Reader:

 

 

When God's Will Isn't Clear

via Desiring God Blog by Jon Bloom on 8/25/11

Most of the decisions you will make today aren't explicitly addressed in the Bible. Questions like, should I eat out today? What should I wear? Should I respond to this instance of my child's sin with correction or forbearance? Should I shop today or tomorrow? Should I check my email again?

The Bible doesn't even give specific guidance on huge, life-shaping decisions like should I marry this person? Should I give more or save for retirement? Should we adopt a child? Should I pursue a different vocation? Should we homeschool? Should I pursue chemo or try an alternative cancer treatment? Should we buy this home or a less expensive one? Which college should I attend? Is it time to put my elderly parent in a nursing home? Should I go to the mission field? Should I separate from my spouse while we work on these very painful issues?

These kinds of decisions tend to have multiple acceptable options within the scope of God's revealed moral will, his commandments. Yet he cares deeply about the details and course of our lives. So what guidance does he give to help us navigate ambiguous decisions? He says,

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2).

What does this mean? It means that God has a design in the difficulty of discerning. The motives and affections of our hearts, or "renewed minds," are more clearly revealed in such decision making.

If God made more things explicit, we would tend to focus more on what we do rather than what we love. Like Pharisees, we would tend to whitewash our tombs with the appearance of obedience — to impress others — rather than deal with the dead bones of our self-righteous pride.

But in decisions that require discernment, the wheat is distinguished from the tares. We make such decisions based on what we really love. If deep down we love the world, this will become apparent in the pattern of decisions that we make — we will conform to this world.

But if we really love Jesus we will increasingly love what he loves — we will be transformed by renewed minds. And our love for him and his kingdom will be revealed in the pattern of small and large decisions that we make.

I say "pattern of decisions" because all of us sin and make mistakes. But conformity to the world or to Jesus is most clearly seen in the pattern of decisions we make over time.

That's why God makes us wrestle. He wants us to mature and have our "powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil" (Hebrews 5:14).

The wonderful thing to remember in all of our decisions is that Jesus is our Good Shepherd. He laid down his life for us so that all of our sins (including every sinful or defective decision) are covered. He will never leave or forsake us. He has a staff long enough to pull us out of every hole and a rod to guide us back when we stray.

And someday we will see that it really was him leading us through the confusing terrain of difficult decisions.

________

Recent posts from Jon Bloom —

• Judas Was the Treasurer?
• Has Jesus Been Worth It?
• There's Staggering Glory in Your Story

 

 

Things you can do from here:

• Subscribe to Desiring God Blog using Google Reader
• Get started using Google Reader to easily keep up with all your favorite sites

 

 

Lord, teach us to praise you like this!

 

 

Sent to you by Christine via Google Reader:

 

 

Lord, teach us to praise you like this!

via The Works of God by John Knight on 7/26/11

Pastor Bud Burk shepherds the children's program at the downtown and south campuses and has been a great proponent for including all the children, including our 'different' children.  From the first time I met this man, before he was hired at Bethlehem, I knew I could learn a great deal from him about trusting in the sovereignty of God in all things.

On Sunday he prayed so beautifully and powerfully before Pastor Kempton's sermon that I asked him if I could have it and post it. His response (with his trademark earnestness and humility): "it wasn't me; it was all scripture!"  But he allowed that if it would help the body, he would share it.

Here it is.  May we all learn to pray like this!

Bud Burk, Prayer of Praise: July 24, 2011

Previous Song: "Hallelujah What a Savior"

Following Song: "Wonderful Merciful Savior"

"Savior, You showed Your love – Defeated our sin, poured out Your blood

So we praise You, Lamb that was slain – We offer our lives to proclaim – What a Savior!"

(Drawn from Isaiah 53)

You were despised and rejected by men

You were a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief

As one from whom men hide their faces

You were despised and we did not esteem You

Surely You have born our griefs and carried our sorrows

Yet we esteemed You stricken, smitten of God and afflicted

But You were wounded for our transgressions

But You were crushed for our iniquities

But You received chastisement that brought our peace

But You healed us by the stripes You received

What a Savior!

You are supreme in kindness

You are supreme in goodness

You are supreme in compassion

You are supreme in mercy

You are supreme in grace

You are supreme in wrath without sin

You are supreme in wisdom

(Drawn from Philippians 4:8)

You are supreme in all that is true

You are supreme in all that is honorable

You are supreme in all that is just

You are supreme in all that is pure

You are supreme in all that is lovely

You are supreme in all that is commendable

You are supreme in all that is excellent

You are supreme in all that is worthy of praise

What a Savior – We praise You

"When He comes, our glorious King – All His ransomed home to bring

Then anew this song we'll sing – Hallelujah, hallelujah"

(Drawn from Revelation 5:9, 13)

Worthy are You to take the scroll and to open its seals

For by Your blood You ransomed people for God

From every tribe and language and people and nation

To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be

Blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever

We pray in Your name Jesus

Our wonderful, merciful Savior; our precious Redeemer and Friend

Amen

 

 

Things you can do from here:

• Subscribe to The Works of God using Google Reader
• Get started using Google Reader to easily keep up with all your favorite sites

 

 

Psalm 56:8

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"

Lessons from engagement, #1

Inspired by a friend's title sharing lessons from bedrest, I also would like to share the lessons I am learning from this stage of life. If anything just to document.

Being recently engaged there are a range of emotions that I have experienced over the last couple weeks. Initially there was the floating on the clouds, bubbling over excitement that one expects. Similar to a kid walking into an ice cream parlor for the first time, and tasting that delicious cold mint chocolate chip ice cream.. mm. Then comes the overwhelming feeling of "there is so much to do, and so little time." For me it was a pendulum swing from one to another, the high of emotions in knowing that the person you love has promised to love and care for you, and then the sinking feeling that comes with reality of details...

So here's Lesson #1.

Helpful tip from PD. Keep the main thing the main thing. The main thing is the Gospel. The love of Christ poured out for us through His life, death and resurrection. That is the ultimate thing. Therefore a marriage is a celebration of the grace that we've received and everything else is just STUFF. The marriage is a foreshadowing of the union we will have with Christ when He returns, our bridegroom.

Enlightening and freeing. Everything is just STUFF.

Enlightening because really when placed against the cross, all this wedding planning, is trivial. Important yes, not saying that one should neglect responsibility in being a good steward of time and money, but in the end it is just stuff, things that will pass. What we deem as important preferences now, people we feel like we will be BFF&F&F&Fs will with time and just distance grow apart. Decor and food will pass just as the thought of what we had for breakfast this morning will pass. But what does not pass .. are the feelings and the attitudes you carry through this time. It's been such a growing experience.. I always thought I was a simple person, no big preferences one way or another, go with the flow, chill... but when pushed up against the preferences of others that I don't agree with... I've learn just how UN-chill I am. Humbling this process is, learning to defer to one another and to consider one another as more significant than myself... it's harder than I deemed it at the beginning. Dying to self daily.

But God is gracious and His mercies are new every day, to enable me to battle. This is what makes it freeing. Freeing in the fact that stuff will all pass away but the love of Christ and the gospel proclaimed verbally or through my actions will be what remains. The gospel of Jesus Christ, his sacrificial love, his humility in leaving his throne above, to come to earth, be born of a woman, grow from infancy, be subject to human, fallible parents, and ultimately to be humiliated and crucified by those he came to save, his enemies. This is the love that needs to be seen through this engagement period.. and this is the sobermindedness that I need to be reminded of daily. This is what frees me from the binding, paralyzing STUFF that is entailed in wedding planning.

:D Engagement is a good place for me to be in. God's mercy in revealing more and more of my sin to me... and more and more of my need for the Cross.

God the Source of All Good

O Lord God, Who inhabitest eternity,

The heavens declare thy glory, 
The earth thy riches, 
The universe is thy temple; 
Thy presence fills immensity, 
Yet thou hast of thy pleasure created life, 
    and communicated happiness; 
Thou hast made me what I am, 
    and given me what I have; 
In thee I live and move and have my being; 
Thy providence has set the bounds of my habitation, 
    and wisely administers all my affairs. 
I thank thee for thy riches to me in Jesus, 
    for the unclouded revelation of him in thy Word, 
    where I behold his Person, character, grace, glory, 
    humiliation, sufferings, death, and resurrection; 
Give me to feel a need of his continual saviourhood, 
    and cry with Job, 'I am vile', 
    with Peter, 'I perish', 
    with the publican, 'Be merciful to me, a sinner'.

Subdue in me the love of sin, 
Let me know the need of renovation as well as 
      of forgiveness, 
    in order to serve and enjoy thee for ever.

I come to thee in the all-prevailing name of Jesus, 
    with nothing of my own to plead, 
    no works, no worthiness, no promises. 
I am often straying, 
    often knowingly opposing thy authority, 
    often abusing thy goodness; 
Much of my guilt arises from my religious privileges, 
    my low estimation of them, 
    my failure to use them to my advantage, 
But I am not careless of thy favour or regardless of 
    thy glory; 
Impress me deeply with a sense of thine 
    omnipresence, that thou art about my path, 
    my ways, my lying down, my end.

Strength for the duties of the day

"The duties that God, in an ordinary way, requires at our hands are not proportioned to what strength we have in ourselves, but to what help and relief is laid up for us in Christ; and we are to address ourselves to the greatest performances with a settled persuasion that we have not the ability for the least." ~John Owen, Works Vol. 6, 94.

a little color in my life :)

This weekend was my dear friend's bridal shower! 

So blessed to be a part of this... 








Theme: Rainbow. photocred: JLee

Female Beauty Matters

 

 

Sent to you by Christine via Google Reader:

 

 

Female Beauty Matters

via Gender Blog by Mary Kassian on 7/7/11

Recently, several bloggers tackled a highly sensitive and debated topic- the need for women to attend to their beauty and appearance. I published a post, extracted from my  Girls Gone Wise book, which examined some Scriptural directives for women on what and what not to wear. I came under fire for focusing on such mundane matters rather than really important stuff-like comforting the sick and war-torn.

I admit it. The topic of woman's appearance is trivial compared to the war on the other side of the world - but given the reality of our culture, it's a battle that hits much closer to home.

The Debate about Female Beauty

Tim Challies, a popular Christian blogger, published his thoughts on women "letting themselves go." While he was careful to stress that "the beauty the Bible commends is the beauty of character more than a beauty of appearance," he suggested that inner and outer beauty are actually inexorably connected, and concluded that women need to make the effort to remain beautiful to their husbands.

Another blogger, Rachel Held Evans, was disappointed by Challies' refrain that "outer beauty reflects inner beauty" and that "a good wife will keep up appearances for her husband choosing an attractive sweater instead of the stained Mickey Mouse t-shirt." She argued that

The Bible never demands that women be beautiful nor does it justify a man's infidelity because his wife "let herself go." If anything, it presents a fairly consistent picture of beauty as a passing pleasure. Challies and company are free to teach that women should stay beautiful for their husbands, but I wish they would stop referring to this teaching as "biblical" when it is not.

The discussion surrounding this issue was intense. Challies' and Evans' posts attracted several hundred comments. When Mark Driscoll mentioned my "What Not to Wear" post on twitter, Girls Gone Wise got flooded with so many visits that it temporarily downed the site. Incidentally, Driscoll took a whole lot of flak, a few years ago, when he offered to take one for the guys, by decrying pastor's wives for "letting themselves go."

A Sensitive Issue for both Sexes

Woman's appearance is a sensitive issue, because from a man's perspective, a wife's effort to be beautiful for her husband speaks of her care and respect for him, and communicates her desire to be sexually attractive and available for him. Making a reasonable effort to care for and beautify herself is a demonstration of her devotion. In his view, a lack of effort in this regard demonstrates a lack of concern for him. Bottom line - whether we like it our not, it's important to our guys. Challies points out:

In all of these things, a woman ought to understand (and believe) that what a man finds (or ought to find) beautiful in his wife is more about care and respect and effort and availability than it is about figure and proportion. In too many cases a woman who lets herself go is simply symbolizing that she has let her marriage go. Conversely, care for herself shows her care for her husband, respect for him, love for him.

It's even a touchier subject for women, because as Evans points out, "many are so burdened by the impossible standards imposed by our culture that they feel as though their efforts will never be enough." Like Evans, I have never in my life met a woman who did not want to be beautiful for her husband.

When it comes to beauty, women react against the burden of expectation, the fear that they will fall short of the desired standard, the inevitability of decay, and the resentment that the script is different for men than women. A woman wants to be loved and accepted as she is. From a wife's perspective, a husband's attraction to/desire for beauty can magnify her feelings of personal inadequacy and insecurity, and she may fear that his love/acceptance depends on her ability to measure up.

Approaching the Discussion from a Different Angle

So who is right-Challies or Evans? Was Driscoll entirely off base in suggesting that it might negatively affect a pastor if his wife lets herself go? Or were his critics misguided in insisting that a woman's lack of attention to her appearance should in no way impact her husband's propensity to stray?

The stalemate in the discussion often boils down to the fact that women resent the fact that men are so attracted to beauty, while men resent the fact that women don't make the effort to properly attend to it. So how do we resolve the impasse? In my opinion, we can't hope to make sense of the question until we view woman's beauty and beautification through the lens of the biblical typology of gender, and the eternal, cosmic meaning of sexuality.

Beauty has a Cosmic Meaning

Psalm 45 is a song celebrating the marriage of a Hebrew king to a foreign princess. But it's also a messianic prophecy pointing to the relationship between Christ the King and His Church-Bride. The Psalmist notes that the king "desires her beauty", and that the princess, in turn, makes herself beautiful-"all-glorious"- for him.

Scripture uses this imagery to illustrate how we are to make ourselves beautiful for our King. The Lord wants us to clothe ourselves in fine, spotless garments of righteousness-in holy character and holy deeds. (Rev. 19:7-8) He wants us to be beautiful, and through Jesus, we are!  The great story of the gospel is that God gives us the opportunity to clothe ourselves in the beauty of Christ. He provides the beauty- and we don't need to work or strive to measure up, nor do we need fear that we will fail to meet the standard.

So what does all this have to do with our discussion about female appearance? It has a great deal to do with it. We live-as C.S. Lewis coined it-in the "shadow lands." The earthly, physical realities of our lives are but shadows-copies-of true and heavenly realities (e.g. Heb. 8:5; 9:24-25). The physical and temporal exist to point us to the spiritual and eternal. And nowhere is this more the case than in the relationship between male and female.

Human sexuality is a parable -a testimony to the character of God and to His spectacular plan of redemption through Jesus. This spiritual truth is so magnificent that God chose to put it on display permanently. Everywhere. Men were created to reflect the strength, love and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women were created to reflect the grace and beauty of the Bride He redeemed.

I believe that men are "wired" to be attracted to beauty in women because our Heavenly Bridegroom desires the beauty of His Bride. And I believe that deep down, every woman wants to feel beautiful and desired. This is the way that God has created us as male and female-and the illustration points to something far bigger than ourselves.

Beauty is More Than a Passing Pleasure

Many scorn beauty as "a passing pleasure." They think that the illusive, fragile, fading, temporary, and wrinkle-and-stretch-mark-prone nature of female beauty indicates that men (and women) should just "get over it" and focus on more important things.

Beauty is indeed a passing pleasure. But I think there's a deeper meaning here that we dare not trivialize. The symbolic importance of beauty/beautification is not unlike the symbolic importance of marriage. Woman's beauty, and all the broken, distorted ideas about it, will not so much pass, as give way-in the end-to that to which beauty points. There will be no marriage in heaven because the shadow will give way to the reality. Likewise, the illusive, fading, temporary beauty of women will one day give way to the breathtaking, spectacular, eternal beauty of the Bride of Christ.

The gospel doesn't negate man's desire to enjoy beauty and woman's desire to be beautiful, but it does shift the focus of our attention beyond the symbol to that to which it points. When we consider the jaw-dropping picture painted by Scripture, it would seem that our Lord finds our desire for beauty not too strong, but too weak. We get all wrapped up with the earthly and the superficial and temporal, while the supernatural and eternal is offered us. Like an ignorant tourist who spreads out his towel under the picture of the umbrella on the sign, because he does not know that the sign points to the beach. We are far too easily pleased. (Again, a favorite C. S. Lewis thought)

Embracing Beauty

Followers of Christ know that the symbol is not even fractionally as important as the reality. But they understand that it is not totally unimportant either.

So girls, let's give the guys a break. Let's stop condemning them for feeling attracted to beauty and wanting us to make a reasonable and sustained effort in that department. And guys... give us a break. Please understand how very personal and painful this issue can be for women. It's very difficult to stay engaged in fighting a battle we know we are destined to lose. The beauty of our youth will inevitably fade. And most of us don't have a hope of even remotely resembling the airbrushed model on the cover of the magazine.

And let's always remember that the whole issue of female beauty is merely a signpost. It's reminder to all of us-male and female-that the King desires our beauty, and that we ought to carefully attend to our character, and to making ourselves spiritually beautiful for that great destination wedding on the other shore.

In my opinion, the answer to the conundrum surrounding the discussion about female beauty is not to diminish or deny its importance, but to exalt and embrace the all-surpassing beauty to which it points.

 

 

Things you can do from here:

• Subscribe to Gender Blog using Google Reader
• Get started using Google Reader to easily keep up with all your favorite sites

 

 

promise to hold fast to this morning

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." 1 cor 15:58

blessings

I heard this on the way to work this morning and just wanted to share this song:

Blessings by Laura Story

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life 
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life 
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

JC Ryle

"Reader, if God has given you His only begotten Son, beware of doubting His kindness and love, in any painful providence of your daily life! Never allow yourself to think hard thoughts of God. Never suppose that He can give you anything which is not really for your good. Remember the words of Paul: 'He who spared not His own Son—but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things' (Romans 8:32).

See in every sorrow and trouble of your earthly pilgrimage the hand of Him who gave Christ to die for your sins! That hand can never smite you except in love! He who gave His only begotten Son for you, will never withhold anything from you which is really for your good. Lean back on this thought and be content. Say to yourself in the darkest hour of trial, 'This also is ordered by Him who gave Christ to die for my sins. It cannot be wrong. It is done in love. It must be well.'"

Favorite Hymns

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul's Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven's joys, O bright Heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Thought of the day... What are YOUR favorite hymns?

Love

O love of God so rich and pure, how measureless and strong

As Easter passes, something that I wanted to share, as a reflection. A sermon on the selfless love of Christ.

http://www.aacfla.org/downloads/Winter_10_-_Week_07_2010-02-17_-_David_Lee.mp3

Birthday fun

Cream cheese frosting fixes everything!!

Hope deferred and a desire fulfilled

From Matthew Henry's commentary:

Nothing is more grievous than the disappointment of a raised expectation, though not in the thing itself by a denial, yet in the time of it by a delay: Hope deferred makes the heart sick and languishing, fretful and peevish; but hope quite dashed kills the heart, and the more high the expectation was raised the more cutting is the frustration of it. It is therefore our wisdom not to promise ourselves any great matters from the creature, not to feed ourselves with any vain hopes from this world, lest we lay up matter for our own vexation; and what we do hope for let us prepare to be disappointed in, that, if it should prove so, it may prove the easier; and let us not be hasty. 2. Nothing is more grateful than to enjoy that, at last, which we have long wished and waited for: When the desire does come it puts men into a sort of paradise, a garden of pleasure, for it is a tree of life. It will aggravate the eternal misery of the wicked that their hopes will be frustrated; and it will make the happiness of heaven the more welcome to the saints that it is what they have earnestly longed for as the crown of their hopes.

Sanctifying the Ordinary

http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A1210-00-51

From Spurgeon, 'serve him where you are'

Thoughts from Fabs.

And so, this pain, more than anything else will teach me to trust.  Each day, as the sun goes down and I still find myself securely held in the arms of the Father, my faith is built.    He doesn't promise to give me everything I need to never be hungry.  He promises to give me everything I need to not starve to death on the road home to Him.  And today I'm alive; He has proved Himself faithful.  He doesn't promise to give me everything I need to never ever falter.  He promises to give me everything I need to finish this race.  And today I love Him; He has proved Himself faithful.  He will finish the good work He began in me.  There is only one thing I really need.  And it is secure.

The fun this weekend

i am careless and clumsy. the end.

artwork courtesy of mi madre

the after

the before 'fashion statement'

Love can always wait to give, lust can never wait to get -Elisabeth Elliot

wise men and fools

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. -prov 28:26

A fool gives full vent to his spirit but a wise man quietly holds it back. -prov 29:11

Let me not be a fool. Quietly restrain my spirit and do not trust in my own mind.

Psalm 86:4-13

Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. For you, O Lord are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me. There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours, All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you. O Lord, and shall glorify Your name.

I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify Your name forever. For great is your steadfast love toward me; You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

Psalm 143:8

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for on you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Truth for my soul

Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless His Holy Name.

Currently pondering lyrics of Wonderful Merciful Savior

Talking to your Tears.. from DG

Psalm 126:5-6

May those who sow in tears
reap with shouts of joy!
He that goes forth weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.

But suppose you say, "I am in a blue funk. I cry if the milk runs out at breakfast. I cry if the phone and doorbell ring at the same time. I cry for no reason at all. But the field needs to be sowed. That is the way life is. I do not feel like it, but I will take my bag of seeds and go out in the fields and do my crying while I do my duty. I will sow in tears."

If you do that, the promise of the psalm is that "you will reap with shouts of joy." You will "come home with shouts of joy, bringing your sheaves with you." Not because the tears of sowing produce the joy of reaping, but because the sheer sowing produces the reaping, and you need to remember this even when your tears tempt you to give up sowing.

So here's the lesson: When there are simple, straightforward jobs to be done, and you are full of sadness, and tears are flowing easily, go ahead and do the jobs with tears. Be realistic. Say to your tears: 'Tears, I feel you. You make me want to quit life. But there is a field to be sown (dishes to be washed, car to be fixed, sermon to be written). I know you will wet my face several times today, but I have work to do and you will just have to go with me. I intend to take the bag of seeds and sow. If you come along then you will just have to wet the rows."

-DesiringGod

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me iN the way everlasting

Assessing the Benefits of a Second Income

Taking a class on personal finance right now and learning loads of interesting information...


Here is a summary of a table that was found in my textbook helping to analyze and asses the benefits of a second income:

1. Second Income
	Annual Earnings		30,000
	Value of benefits (Life Insurance)		300
	Total 1		30,300
2. Expenses
	Federal income taxes (25% x30,000)		7,500
	State/Local income taxes (6% x30,000)		1,800
	Social Security Taxes (7.65% x30,000)		2,295
	Transportation and commuting (50 wks x$40)		2,000
	Child care (8 mos after school only)		3,200
	Lunches out (50 wks, 2x$10/wk)		1,000
	Work Wardrobe (dry clean too)		1,200
	Other work related expenses		300
	Takeout food for dinner (too tired; $100/mo)		1,200
	Guilt complex purchases (make up for time lost)		600
	Total 2		21,095
3. Net Value
	Total of 1		30,300
	Subtract total of 2		21,095
	Total net amount of second income		9,205

Total of the year comes to be $9,205/ 12 is about $767 extra each month... interesting how objectively the world also comes to the same conclusion that perhaps it is not cost efficient to have a double income. Things to think about!

All american football

Useless trivia from class today...
Who was the first all american football player from princeton and also wrote the mccaw?

Edgar Allen Poe

Did You Think to Pray?

Lyrics: Mary A. Kidder
Music: William O. Perkins

Ere you left your room this morning,
Did you think to pray?
In the name of Christ our Savior,
Did you ask for loving favor,
As a shield today?

Refrain:
O how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day;
So when life seems dark and dreary,
Don't forget to pray.

When you met with great temptation,
Did you think to pray?
By His dying love and merit,
Did you claim the Holy Spirit
As your guide and stay?

When your heart was filled with anger,
Did you think to pray?
Did you plead for grace, my brother,
That you might forgive another
Who had crossed your way?

When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was bowed in sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?

-emphasis mine.

Just another day on the farm

Battle unproductiveness and feelings of incompetence and self worth with the Cross. All that was accomplished there. I was bought for a price and that price is the blood of the Lamb, Son of God, who did not count equality with God a thing to be grasp. Fight hard the temptations to wallow in self pity for our value comes not from within us for we ARE all Losers and failures, rather turn my eyes upon Jesus, my Savior and my Lord. Who is worth more than I ever will be.

Women are crazy...

Incredible perspective on women, and how we should not simply accept the silly phrase "women are just crazy"

Because I don't understand how it happened.  I don't understand how Satan convinced our churches that men should fight lust like it's dragging them to hell, and women should laugh about their sinful emotional outbursts.  It seems like somehow in the beautiful movement to challenge men to lead more, we accidentally began to avoid the insecurity in women in the name of 'grace'.  We began to blame men for women's craziness.  We began tiptoeing around truth out of fear of creating drama. 

I wonder to myself what would look different in the Church today if women fought insecurity the way they expect others to fight pornography or adultery.  I wonder what would be different if women would stop laughing at the way they get irrationally angry or sad and instead acknowledge that there are some emotions that are an offense against a Holy God. 

God made women beautifully and fearfully.  And one of the best things about them is that they experience deep emotions.  The call to fight emotional sin is a call not to remove emotions, but to redeem them.  God designed us to have emotions that reflect His worth.  An emotionless life is just as sinful as a life filled with ungodly emotions.

read more here.

Happy 1 John 4:7-10!

Yield Not To Temptaion

Lyrics and Music: Horatio R. Palmer

Yield not to temptation, for yielding is sin;
Each victory will help you some other to win;
Fight manfully onward, dark passions subdue,
Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through.

Refrain:
Ask the Savior to help you,
Comfort, strengthen and keep you;
He is willing to aid you,
He will carry you through.

Shun evil companions, bad language disdain,
God's Name hold in reverence, nor take it in vain;
Be thoughtful and earnest, kindhearted and true,
Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through.

To him that o'ercometh, God giveth a crown;
Through faith we shall conquer, though often cast down;
He Who is our Savior our strength will renew;
Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through.

Purity

Purity means freedom from contamination, from anything that would spoil the taste or the pleasure, reduce the power, or in anyway adulterate what the thing was meant to be. It means cleanness, clearness no additives, nothing artificial- in other words "all natural" the sense in which the Original Designer designed it to be. // 'Passion and Purity' Elisabeth Elliot

Lunch is fun!

Endurance.

Paul writes a lot about joy, rejoicing in the midst of trials, rejoicing because the Gospel is proclaimed even though circumstances aren't all rosy, rejoicing in growth of his brethren, rejoicing because of soul refreshment for Titus. Now you might wonder... why is the title Endurance and not Joy or Rejoicing?

Because of a profound yet simple truth found in James. Yes. You read right, James, not a Pauline epistle.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing. But if you lack wisdom let him ask of God, who gives generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

When you encounter various trials...[various is nicely explained here]
to have joy... but why should we have joy? What is this joy rooted in? The joy is knowing that the temporary pain and trials that come.. are to grow us, grow us in endurance. So that we might be more and more like Christ. Complete.


so rejoice knowing that it produces endurance. and through each trial, each test. the endurance brings us closer to our Savior.

more on the subject here

Wise words.

that is the only cure for silliness.

prayer.

spoken by a wise woman.

Excerpt from "Who pays for your spouse's sins?

Let's suppose my wife, Lucia, sins and I get angry with her as a response to her sin. In such a case, which sadly is how it goes in our home from time to time, I would be punishing her for her sin. I would be acting as "God" by demanding justice, while completely missing the Gospel. Christ bore the Father's wrath, died, and rose from the grave in order to accomplish salvation for anyone who authentically believes this story. Thankfully, Lucia was regenerated by the grace of God many years ago. Her sin, past, present, and future has been paid for because of the Gospel.

When I respond in anger to her sin, I am making her do what Christ would never do. I am punishing her.

Christ did not make me pay for my sin. He sacrificed for my sin by giving His life for me. If I truly understand the Gospel in the moment of my wife's sin, my response would be a Gospel-motivated sacrifice rather than self-centered punishment.

Thus is so when we respond in anger at others sins. Read more at Competent Counseling

 

Sin Test

Whatever weakens your reason, whatever impairs the tenderness of your conscience, whatever obscures your sense of God, whatever increases the authority of your body over your mind, whatever takes away from your relish for spiritual things, that to you is sin, no matter how innocent it is in itself.   -Susanna Wesley

 

Sermon notes from the archives

Since I have more time now, I've started organizing my sermon notes from the past... and I always enjoy reading through the teaching. Here's one from last year. On Christian Dating (1) -Feb 10, 2010

"If this is the will of God in your life, then constantly exposing yourself to the bible, will give you a biblical worldview... Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

Do not be conformed- command
that by testing- through Scripture

Definition of dating a la Danny Bae: Apply biblical principles towards the goal of marriage
Why date if you're not going to get married? The patterns you establish in dating, continue in marriage, which is why dating is so important.

Immerse yourselves in the Bible, live the Word of God out, and live consistently to what you believe.. there is no special model of dating; you apply Scripture to your life, you OBEY.

... wait on your affections. Be patient and wait on your affections, the quietness of your own heart, and there's something in trusting the Lord when you wait. There is something about waiting and keeping it to yourself and praying about it and meditating about it, for 3, 6 months, a year...

It is good to wait, it is good to be patient, and it is really important to you... That's how it is with big decisions, there is just something about waiting that is good.

There is a special level of intimacy when two people are dating, hearts are more tightly bound together. Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. There is only 2 things a relationship can do....

1. Draw you AWAY from Christ OR 2. Draw you CLOSER to Christ
   
   
   To be prepared for dating is to be a Christian... an obedient Christian, a real Christian, a faithful Christian, a mature Christian, a walking Christian.
   

Resolution #5

Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

-Jonathan Edwards

on my desktop.

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Gal 5:24

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. -Prov16:3-4


"For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers" -1 Timothy 4:10

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. Psalm 147:10-11

"But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself." -Phil 3:20-21

Wise words.

As I was cleaning today, came across an excerpt I jotted down quickly from http://dt1021.wordpress.com/2010/

I don't need those around me to affirm that I would be the best wife ever and that my singlenss has nothing to do with my own shortcomings.

What I do need is someone to point out that evert single thing is ordained by my ind and gracious Father for my good (Rom 8:28-29). What I do need is to hear when I confess my sin He [Christ] is just and faithful to forgive me and cleanse me of all unrightousness and any lingering shame is my declaration that His sacrifice just wasn't enough to cover the sin.

 

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

 

a taste of fall

Since I've been behind in uploading pictures, I figured I would make a small collage. A sampling of the things these past couple of months. Mostly catching up on baking and scenery shots.

Snippets of Spurgeon for the Soul

Spurgeon is simple to understand, yet immensely profound. The truths he lays to bare penetrates deeply in my soul, to think upon the relationship we have with Christ, and the things we bring before Christ, no secrets, nothing hidden, and I will allow Spurgeon himself to speak for he is much more eloquent than I.

From The Queen of Sheba: Heart-Communing | Published in 1902; delivered New Park Street Chapels, Southwark.

She communed with him of all that was in her heart. 1 Kings 10:2

I. We will begin by saying that we ought to commune with Jesus of all that is in our heart.

I do not mean all of you who are present; I mean all those who have been redeemed from among men by his most precious blood, all those who are believing in him, and who call him their Savior, their Master, their Lord. You are bound to tell him all that is in your heart, and to have no secrets hidden away from him within your soul.
      Tell Jesus all that is in your heart, for neglect of intercourse with Christ,  of the most intimate kind is ungenerous toward him. Are there any professing Christians here, who have lived for a month without conscious communion with Christ? If I were to speak of a longer period and to ask " Are there not some professing Christians here, who have lived for three months without conscious communion with Christ," I am afraid there are some who, if they were honest and truthful, would have to reply, "That is the case with us." If so, think what that means; you profess to belong to Jesus, and to be his disciple, yet you confess that you have lived all this while without real, intimate communication with him who is your Master and Lord. What is more, you profess to be not only one of his disciples, but one of his friends. "Is this thy kindness to thy Friend?" I may go further than that, for you believe yourself to be married to Christ, for that is the union which exists between himself and his people. That would be a strange kind of marriage union in which the wife should be in the presence of her husband, and not even speak to him by the week, by the month, by the three months, by the six months together. For them to have no fellowship with one another, no  mutual interchange of love, no communications with each other, would be regarded as unnatural, and would  be rightly condemned; but do we not, sometimes, act toward our heavenly Bridegroom in just that manner? Are we not, too often, like the men of the world who do not know him? Do we not live as if we did not know him, or as if he were no longer present with us? It ought not to be thus; unless we would act contrary to all the dictates of our higher nature, we must be continually holding intimate intercourse with our Lord Jesus Christ.
    And we must tell him all that is in our heart, because to conceal anything from so true a Friend betrays the sad fact that there is something wrong to be concealed. Is there anything that you do that you could not tell to Jesus? Is there anything you love that you could not ask him to bless? Is there any plan now before you that you could not ask him to sanction? Is there anything in your heart which you would wish to hide from him? then it is a wrong thing; be you sure of that. The thing must be evil, or else you would not wish to conceal it from him whom, I trust, you do really love. O my Lord, wherefore should I desire to hide anything from you? If I do want to hide it, then, surely, it must be because it is something of which I have cause to be ashamed; so help me to get rid of it.....
        If we canoot tell Jesus all that is in our heart, it shows a want of confidence in his love, or his sympathy or his wisdom or his power. When there is something that the wife cannot tell to her husband, or there begin to be some secret things on the part of one of them, that cannot be revealed to the other, there will soon be an end of mutual love and peace and joy. Things cannot go on well in the home while there has to be concealment. O beloved, I beseech you to  love Christ too much to keep anything back from him! Love him so much that you can trust him even with the little frivolous things hich so often worry and vex you. Love him so much that you can tell him all that is in your heart, nor ever for a moment wish to keep back anything from him.
      If we do not tell it all to Jesus, it looks as if we had not confidence in his love, and therefore thought that he would not bear with us; or else that we had not confidence in his sympathy,, and fancied that he would not take any notice of us; or else that we had not confidence in his wisdom, and thought that our trouble was too perplexing to bring to him; or else that we had not confidence in his power, and dreamed that he could not help us in such an emergency. Let this never be the case with any of you; but every day, unburden your heart to Christ, and never let him think that you even begin to distrust him. So shall you keep up a frank and open and blessed fellowship between Christ and your own soul.
      I believe that our trials usually come out of the things that we do not take to the Lord; and, moreover, I am sure that we make greater blunders in what we consider to be simple matters, which we need not take to the Lord, than we do in far more difficult matters which we take to him. The men of Israel were deceived by the Gibeonites because they had on old shoes and clouted, and had moldy bread in their wallets, and the Israelites said, "It is perfectly clear that these men must have come from a long distance; look at their old boots and their ragged garments"; so they made a covenant with them, and inquired not the will of the Lord. If it had not appeared to them to be quite so clear a case, they would have asked the Lord for direction, and then they would have been rightly guided. It is when you think you can see your way that you go wrong; when you cannot see your way, but trust to God to lead you by  a way that you know not, you will go perfectly right. I am persuaded that it is so that the simplest and plainest matter kept away from Christ will turn out to be a maze, while the most intricate labyrinth, under the guidance of Christ, will prove to have in it straight road for the feet of all those who trust in the infallible wisdom of their Lord and Savior....

This just being a short excerpt. So much to chew on.