Since moving home, I have been challenged, and humbled many times over. Graduating college is an experience, that is like none I have experienced before. Throughout the last four years, I've basically lived at school, away from home, and forging life on my own. Though not completely independent, there were aspects of my life in which I got to choose what I wanted to do. Whatever I felt like doing, whoever I felt like talking to, making friends, and more importantly how my schedule looked everyday.
One of the biggest decisions of my life entering into college, was how important was my faith in Christ? Is that going to dictate how I live my life? Or am I placing myself first and foremost in all my relationships? Unbeknownst to me God was placing in me a desire to know Him more, and was pursuing me, even as I was running deeper into the world. There was a period of changing my world view from running to and desiring the things of the world, the success, the renown, the prestige, shifting now into investing in people, not purely for selfish reasons or gain, but for the purpose of truly loving them, with all my heart. The love that was once shown to me, through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, now grew a greater desire in me to want to invest in the people around me, to know Him. Though this desire has not changed, my understanding and how this works out has definitely shifted since moving back home.
Now upon graduating, the relationships I had formed living with my three lovely apartment mates, whom I love dearly, are now changing. The convenience of simply going next door and finding fellowship, and friendship, prayer within the same building, not so anymore. The transition has been challenging, to say the least. We have all moved back to our respective homes, back into our family and our lives pre-college. Living under another authority, that is not ourselves, and sometimes not completely Christian. The concept of submission to authority, comes into play every day, some days more difficult than others [
1 Peter 2:13-25]. The fellowship that once surrounded me like a bubble, now gone and no longer as easily accessible, has shown me just how dependent I was on my friends to keep my relationship with my Father right. By no means am I saying that accountability and fellowship is bad, but in my own life, in coming out of college, and moving home, I have seen my 'godliness' and sanctification would be dependent on how people viewed me, rather than the true state of my heart. An observation I have made in the last couple years, is that it is easier to be "godly and holy" around those who are also seeking the same goals as you are, who are Christian, solid in theology, and striving every day to die to their own flesh. On the other hand, being in an environment where I am not surrounded by people like that basically 24/7 forces me to check the state of my heart, and my thoughts each and every moment, and.. honestly it takes a lot more effort and is a lot more difficult.
Perhaps though it is these such transition situations that lead to greater sanctification. This mirror put before me, in the form of my life away from college, has shown me just how much I need a Savior each and every moment. How grace is needed in every aspect of my life.
What has been the most challenging about this transition is the initial uncertainty of it all. Having a plan, and then having God break it, having another plan, and then having those plans fall. The various changes in my life when moving home were:
- Unemployment
- Living under my parents again
- Living and co-residing with my younger brother
- Finding a new church
- Figuring out future (?)
It is amazing just how little faith I had before (and only recognizing so from hindsight). In such uncertainties, I, being the 'good Christian' I was, and understanding the sovereignty of God and the providence He has, prayed. Though having no idea how He was going to answer the prayers nor if He would answer.
In view of the time away from daily fellowship with the saints, I grew to see how vulnerable I truly am, how prideful I was in just the way I approached the uncertainties... and thus my prayer life changed.
But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ my rest in me. 2 cor 2:9-10In all things, when I was fully reliant on God, even in the little details of life, I became more and more aware of just how sovereign God was. In the little blessings of finding volunteer opportunities, to finding a loving and solid church; the faithfulness of God to His children is all the more evident.
My encouragement to you is this:
Do not let life pass you by, do not waste the opportunities God has placed in your life, and more importantly do not neglect the hardships, and sufferings that have seemingly swallowed you up. In all these things we are to "Count it". Even in the transitions, the uncertainty, shows us how much control we lack, and that we need to rely fully and completely on God.
Count it all joy my brethren when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and let endurance have its perfect result in you, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:2-5