Striving to live in this way

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

(2 Timothy 2:24-26 ESV)

1. must not be quarrelsome

2. must be kind

3. able to teach

4. patiently enduring

5. correcting his opponents with GENTLENESS... 

Lessons from engagement, #2

Continuation from the engagement series (pt 1)
This time is what I'll deem "growing the relationship" time. It's also a whole realm of new relationships that will form, and current relationships that will change, namely with family.
Three parts of growing the relationship. The first is with your fiance. This is now new ground to sow the seeds of a good foundation. Something that we started when we were dating was reading the Scriptures together. Something that we continued to do into our engagement period. Granted it hasn't been as cositent as either of us would have liked but it has definitely been profitable and rewarding time. Why? Because of the conversations that come up around it, our doctrine for the most part has been pretty similar, no huge waves, otherwise most likely we would not be where we are today. While we were dating, I made sure that I guarded my heart extremely well, sometimes to the point where it was too guarded (J can testify). As I look back now with only a month or so left until the wedding, I can see just how much we've grown closer over the last several months. Yes we're still getting to know each other, and will continue to after we're married, but with the intentional time spent together, outside of wedding planning, in the Word,  is what will be the firmest foundation that we'll have.

This is something that I have been extremely grateful for, a time together in the mornings just to open Scripture and hear the word of God spoken into our lives. Something so simple, yet powerful. Of course, this is what is revealed to us throughout Scripture too. "All scripture is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." 2 Tim. 3:16

The second is continuing to foster the relationships that you have with your close friends, and small group. Letting people know what is going on in your life, how they can be praying for you and even just a hug. Though it seems like a "Duh" moment, but honestly it has been such a blessing to be able to call and email the close friends I have, to know that they're holding the other end of the "support" rope through prayer and petition. At the end of the day, I've realized that maintaining these friendships includes letting them see you when you're struggling and fighting the hardest to keep the perspective that God is sovereign over all. Most importantly, they will be able to more intelligently bring your requests before our Loving Father, who knows us intimately and remind us of the truth in Scripture... what I need the most in the midst of a battle.

Finally, the most challenging one to address. Family. People that know and love us regardless of what we do, people who have seen the bad, who have seen the good. This is the relationship that has been the most challenging to grow during the engagement period thus far. The idea of leaving and cleaving seen in Gen 3 and throughout Scripture; is a difficult one to live out practically. Tips for this time? I'll let you know when I'm done. haha. In all seriousness, the verse that keeps coming up in my mind by the grace of God has been Phil 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition but with humility of mind count others more significant than yourself" Of course not taking this out of context but recognizing that the prime example we have of this is Christ. Which Paul explains later in chap 2, where Christ did not count equality with God (the Father) a thing to be grasped, but humbled himself to submit, to obey even to the point of death on the cross. This is what has fueled me in the last couple months. Clinging onto the truth that Christ humbled himself and obeyed, to the point of death on the cross, to bring glory to the Father. How much more should I, as a disobedient child, brought into the sheepfold by the blood, death and resurrection of Christ, how much more should I consider others more significant than myself?

By not doing so, I'm shaming the cross I call upon to save me. This is growing relationships during engagement, deferring to others, loving them, and investing time with them even when you're tired.

Sushi

So delicious

The Superwoman complex

Lord let me apply the truths written in here.

 

 

Sent to you by Christine via Google Reader:

 

 

The Superwoman complex

via Gender Blog by Diane Montgomery on 10/7/11

Superwoman complex: A woman's wish to be excellent at all her roles (leader, professional, mother, wife etc.), that very often leads to psychological stress and feeling guilty toward family members or an expectation of being a superwoman that can and should do everything.

I have to confess: if you look this term up in the dictionary, you'll find my picture right next to it. Guilty as charged. I never realized I fit into this category until just a few weeks ago. I was a little over one month into marriage, taking summer school, making home-cooked meals 3-4 times a week, working out 4-6 times a week, packing my husband's lunches and mine, working almost 40 hours a week, involved in church ministry, cleaning house, writing papers, reading 200 pages a day for my class, trying to be a friend, daughter, and the perfect wife. I was exhausted by all of this and I don't even have kids yet! After working 10 hours for my job one Saturday afternoon in a dirty, sandy outdoor concert, I came home and broke down.

Have you ever seen that episode of Saved by the Bell, when Jessie Spano was trying to balance all her life activities and then becomes addicted to caffeine pills to try and succeed at everything? My life was similar to that, minus the drug addiction. At the end of the episode Jessie finally freaks out. She goes from trying to prove she can sing on drugs, to yelling, to finally incoherently balling/mumbling, "No time, there's never any time!" I think the writers of this show must have looked forward into the future, seen my breakdown and said, "This is great material! Let's add some pills and we'll have a great show!" Unfortunately for my husband though, he had to play theencouraging and consoling part of Zach.

The next day, I wondered why I had freaked out so much. I was doing all the right things. I was making homemade food, my husband was well fed and had a clean house to come home to, I was making good grades, I was trying to do a good job at work, and I was building more relationships at church. It seemed like I was doing all the things that the Proverbs 31 woman is said to do but then why was I breaking down out of exhaustion? What's wrong with being Superwoman?

1. Superwoman is too busy and exhausted to spend time with God.

By the end of my day being "Superwoman", I was exhausted and I needed to get a good night's sleep to be able to save the day again. I pretty much told God, "I'm too busy for you. I have to do everything tomorrow and I need my sleep so I can't read your Word." The very thing that would bring peace, contentment, and joy in my life was the thing I was rejecting. The Bible is the way God speaks to us. It breathes life into our souls and without it we become spiritually deadened.

The Proverbs 31 woman is exemplary because the Scriptures influenced her life.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. ~ Proverbs 31:24

How did she speak with wisdom if she didn't get it from God, the source of all wisdom and faithful instruction? She sought Him and His law which brought her wisdom, peace, dignity, and strength.

The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.~ Psalm 19:7-8

How did I think I could make it as Superwoman, exhausting myself every day, without the very thing that would revive my soul? I was doomed for failure. Instead, I needed to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman who sought the Lord and His word which brought light to the eyes and joy to the heart.

2. Superwoman thinks she can save the day.

When you try to be your own superhero, there's no room for God to save the day. I thought I could do it all on my own and, foolishly, I thought I didn't need God's help. I was the center and controller of my life, God was not the one in control. When He is not your reason, your center, your all, when He is not in control, your life will not be peaceful or successful.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. ~ Proverbs 14:12

If you're trying to be Superwoman, you will eventually fail and breakdown but when God is in control, there is peace and rest. I was putting my trust in myself which seems pretty stupid when I think about it because I'm a sinful, simpleton of a woman. Why am I trusting in that kind of person when I have a Savior who's perfect, loving, strong, in control of the entire world and wants to do good for me? That's the kind of God I want to save the day.

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in Him, and He will do it. ~Psalm 37:4-5

For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.~ Deuteronomy 30:16

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30

3. Superwoman tries to be perfect in all her different faces.

A lot of Christian women think of the Proverbs 31 woman as being a type of perfect woman. She does everything perfectly, can be Susie-homemaker, smart, good with money, can sew anything, and her husband and children think she's just the best.

God requires His daughters to be like that, right? Aren't all those things in Scripture? They are and God does want them from us but there's a big difference between Superwoman and the Proverbs 31 woman. The difference is: God.

You can do all the actions of the Proverbs 31 woman but if your heart isn't God-centered then you're just a Superwoman destined to fail. God knows that only He and His Son, Jesus Christ can be perfect, so why are women trying to be perfect in all areas of their lives? Is it for personal glory? Is it so you'll appear to be the most talented girl in the dorm, the best wife in your small group, or the most desirable single woman men know? Unfortunately, I've been guilty of all these motives and they are purely selfish. They are "Me"- driven and that's what the Superwoman complex is centered around: Self. Whether it's to be the best or to please man, self is the motive, not God.

God does not want outward perfection, awards, or praises from man. That's not what He values. The only thing God requires of us is that we seek Him and fear Him. The Proverbs 31 woman sought the Lord and feared Him.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
~ Proverbs 31:30

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ~ 1 Peter 3:3-4

Superwoman is charming, she's impressive, her worth comes from things that are outwardly seen but she fades away. A woman who fears the Lord, who has a gentle and quiet spirit, and whose heart reflects Christ, is the one who will continually be revived by Him, be of great worth in His sight, and can run the hard race towards holiness. If I had done these things, I wouldn't have broken down and you won't either if you put your trust in Him.

God doesn't call us to be superwomen; he calls us to be godly women. If you've been trying to do everything on your own, then stop. Jesus says to you and me,

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~ Matthew 11:28

When you put your to-do list, your troubles, and your full-schedules on His shoulders, life is much easier. It is lighter because He's carrying the burdens. He doesn't want you to have to because He knows you can't handle the weight and you'll collapse under it, like I did.

If you have been like the Proverbs 31 woman and putting everything in God's hands, thank you. You have been an example to your sisters and we need more women like you. I pray that I will not make the same silly mistakes again and become more like you.

So go throw your Superwoman cape away and let God save the day

(Diane Montgomery is a contributor to the Unlocking Femininity blog at www.unlockingfemininity.com)

 

 

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Garlic press

What to do for lunch on a cold day?  Warm ramen of course! They also had these awesome garlic press

Morning and Evenings by Spurgeon

Morning, September 15
"He shall not be afraid of evil tidings." -- Psalm 112:7

Christian, you ought not to dread the arrival of evil tidings; because if you are distressed by them, what do you more than other men? Other men have not your God to fly to; they have never proved his faithfulness as you have done, and it is no wonder if they are bowed down with alarm and cowed with fear: but you profess to be of another spirit; you have been begotten again unto a lively hope, and your heart lives in heaven and not on earthly things; now, if you are seen to be distracted as other men, what is the value of that grace which you profess to have received? Where is the dignity of that new nature which you claim to possess?

Again, if you should be filled with alarm, as others are, you would, doubtless, be led into the sins so common to others under trying circumstances. The ungodly, when they are overtaken by evil tidings, rebel against God; they murmur, and think that God deals hardly with them. Will you fall into that same sin? Will you provoke the Lord as they do?

Moreover, unconverted men often run to wrong means in order to escape from difficulties, and you will be sure to do the same if your mind yields to the present pressure. Trust in the Lord, and wait patiently for him. Your wisest course is to do as Moses did at the Red Sea, "Stand still and see the salvation of God." For if you give way to fear when you hear of evil tidings, you will be unable to meet the trouble with that calm composure which nerves for duty, and sustains under adversity. How can you glorify God if you play the coward? Saints have often sung God's high praises in the fires, but will your doubting and desponding, as if you had none to help you, magnify the Most High? Then take courage, and relying in sure confidence upon the faithfulness of your covenant God, "let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

God is good

God is good.  He is sweet and gentle and for me and I can feel that today with every fiber of being.  He knows me, really knows me.  And He's with me, really with me.  He's safe and strong and steady and He's all around me and throwing reckless and radical promises at me and sharing the deepest parts of Himself with me through His Word and He's fighting for me when I'm too weak to fight and He's holding me when I'm too weak to stand.

He's deep and good and mine. fabs

on days like today.. this is the truth I need to hear. 

service without reward

I was quickly convicted that there are too many areas in life in which my acts of charity or my acts of kindness are charitable and kind primarily toward me. I'll serve you if it somehow serves me. I'll give to you if I receive some tangible reward in the end. But if my serving or my giving interferes with my big plans, if it gets in the way of what I really want, that's where I object, that's where I pull back, that's where I say, "I cannot do it. It's impossible. It's ridiculous to even ask." At too many times and in too many ways, I am like this anonymous relative, this man whose actions earned him no named place in this story, this man who is here to serve as a contrast with Boaz—Boaz whose actions point us to Christ, whose love is evidence of a transformed heart and transformed affections.

 

-T.Challies

Read more

How often is that the posture of my own heart, serve when there's something in it for me. Rather, correct me, serve as Christ served to the very end.